Act I: Introduction
Ellen:
I had just joined a new company in November 2010. On the last day of orientation, I finished up early and decided to head over to my desk. I was super excited to get started; as I was talking to my boss about how I was going to pick up a Perl book and practice on the weekend, some "kid" looked up briefly from his computer and said dryly "Nah, don't bother with that. It's not worth it" and then promptly returned to ignoring me and doing whatever he was doing.
My takeaway on that first day: "Watch out for this punk kid... what a total downer!" Little did I know that he would end up being my lifeline in on-boarding to my new job.
Over the next couple months, we started getting to know each other better (he kept sending me Youtube clips of the 3 Stooges while at work... I don't think I'll ever understand the appeal). We went to dinners where he would basically inhale his food in the first 5 minutes and then look like a cornered mouse as I talked at him for the next few hours.
Eventually, we started traveling (he may say it was less voluntary on his part and more that I dragged him) across the country and the world. Exploring new places and eating new things was much more fun when done together!
A few years in... being me (super Type-A planner)... I started asking him if he was ever going to marry me. Followed by "strategic" prompts to help him start thinking about stuff. I figured it didn't hurt to start thinking about these things and it might help him brainstorm ideas! Little did I know...
Eugene:
In the fall of 2010 I changed to a new job in a new town, the big city of Watertown. My previous job had me in a small, middle of nowhere town working for a small company no one has heard of. While I was trying to stay ahead of the curve at my new job, some crazy woman in a leather jacket started messaging me asking all sorts of silly questions. Even worse, she sat right behind me in the aisle, no way to escape.
After a few weeks helping her learn absolute basics (how did she even get hired?!) we started hanging out after work, too. She seemed to have some sort of obsession with trying new food/restaurants, so of course I became very familiar with all of the places in Watertown I would have never tried on my own. Our first time out was a "quick" dinner, while waiting for an all night build to start. We ended up staying at the place for 3 hours.
Since her commute home was ... awful, it was usually better for her to come in early and leave late, so rather than go directly home she started hanging out. This gave us time to start planning trips, playing Nintendo, watching movies and pretend to start exercising more.
From there we started traveling, first New Hampshire, then New York, then India... Mexico, Jamaica,... all these places I would probably never have gone on my own but will never forget.
Act II: The Fakeout
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Ellen:
We were on vacation to Martha's Vineyard during the summer of 2015 and had decided to go to a beach early in the morning before the crowds arrived. He was carrying a backpack with all our stuff in it so we took turns changing. When it was my turn, I found a small square box at the bottom of the bag...... I was good! I didn't open the box!
But that definitely set the stage for the next few days of our vacation... I first thought we were on this quiet beach so he was going to pop the question... nope, no such luck. I figured it was fine since we had a fancy dinner the next night so maybe he was going down the classic route.
Dinner came and the food was fine (I can't really remember), all I remember is nothing happening and when he asked if we wanted dessert I said "YES DESSERT!", thinking that we were going old-school classic with the proposal. Aaaaaand... nothing.
Always an optimist, I thought no worries... if he did the classic proposal over dinner that wouldn't really reflect our vibe anyway, so he's definitely saving up for tomorrow's big bike trip to a quaint farm on the middle of the island. I am not a cyclist.... but I huffed my way up those hills and around those cars for miles to get to the farm. I didn't even get off to walk once! We sat down and enjoyed the peaceful ambiance... and then I had to bike my way back to the hotel with no ring in hand.
It rained hard the next few days on Martha's Vineyard and I thought "okay, maybe we're going for spontaneity". Maybe the downpours that forced us to have to wade through the flooding streets would prompt the romantic gesture... I was wrong. I thought for sure, it would happen on the last day of our vacation as we took the ferry back to mainland... and was wrong once again.
As we were unpacking, I couldn't help but wonder if he forgot he brought it... I mean he carried it around with him all week and nothing! I did end up mentioning to him that I found it, just to see his reaction, but I figured maybe he was waiting to make sure he spoke with my family before popping the question. As school and work picked up again, I stopped thinking about it.
Act III: The Proposal
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Ellen:
Our next trip was right after a weekend in San Francisco for school and I was looking forward to enjoying a break from the world. We enjoyed the time off from our normally busy lives with early morning hikes, afternoon gym classes, and delicious food (of course!) One afternoon, as we dozed in the big hammock outside our room, he said he'd be right back. I figured he was just going to use the restroom or grab our water bottles. He came back and said "here, this is for you" and handed me the box. No pomp and ceremony, no official asking. Just "here, this is for you", to which I said "thank you?". I suppose it's fitting since after a few minutes I then said "okay, but you should put this back because we're going hiking again tomorrow morning".
Aaand, that was it! On our last day at the resort, I did put the ring on and send pictures to family. While the actual event itself was much less dramatic than the fake out lead up, it was very "us" ---- laid back, goofy, and a little awkward.
Although... since he technically still has not asked the question yet, I suppose I haven't actually said "yes" yet either!
Eugene:
Ellen is very particular. She will tell you what she wants, and how she wants it.
When she started talking about getting married, I knew she had the details in her mind or at least would know what she wanted when she saw it.
She helped me pick the ring (by telling me what she wanted, from her favorite store ---Costco). Next came the routine drilling "how are you gonna ask me??" I figured she loved travel so proposing on a vacation would be ideal. Without her knowing I somehow managed to buy the ring and stash it safely away in January 2015.
Of course, I'm not very good at ceremony and big showy stuff, so I never really found a great time to propose. I took it with me a few different places trying to figure out when I should give it to her. I chickened out for basically a year, including, as she points out, at the beach in Martha's Vineyard,
It wasn't until we were sitting in a hammock staring out at the mountains on a sunny afternoon in Utah -- just having a nice relaxing time -- that I worked up the nerve. I grabbed the ring and offered it to her. I was glad to finally have asked her and laughed at her disbelief in my awkward approach and slowness in delivery.